The Priest's Girlfriend - JOKE

Entoy and his wife were finally able to have their dream of coming
to the States come true. He had landed in Seattle, but since his
relatives were in Florida, he decided to spend some vacation-
ing Miami Beach, where his wife would join him a day later. She
stayed one more day in the Philippines because she had to say
goodbye to her family in the province.

Unfortunately, there was some sort of mix-up at the boarding gate,
and Entoy was told that he had to take a later flight. He tried to
appeal to the airline personel but was told that the airline was not
responsible for the problem and it would be useless to compalin.

Upon arriving at the hotel after the delayed flight, he discovered that
Miami was suffering from El Nino, and while it was cold in Seattle,
it was so hot in Miami. His wife texted him that she was coming as
planned. Entoy wanted to jump into the swimming pool, but he
decided to email his wife first. However, since he was rushing, he
made a mistake in the email address and it got sent instead to the
secret girlfriend of a priest who died when his church caught fire the
day before. The girlfriend screamed and fainted when she read the
mial:

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My Love:

Departed yesterday as you know. Just got checked in. There was
some confusion at the gate. My appeal was denied. Received
confirmation of your arrival tomorrow.

Your Loving Sweetheart.

PS-Things are not as we thought. You're going to be surprised at
how hot it is down here!
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STUPID SEXY STAR JOKES III

Mylene Dizon joins Binibining Pilipinas. During the Q-And-A portion...

Emcee: What do you think is the current image of a Filipina
Mylene (sudden mental block): Ahh...ahh..I think... ahh...
Emcee:I repeat, what is the current image of a Filipina?
Mylene: Ahh...ahh...
Emcee (trying to be helpful): what do you think, more or less?
Mylene: Ahh... more?

STUPID SEXY STAR JOKES II

Ruffa Mae Quinto goes to Starbucks with her beau...
Countergirl: Ma'am, would you like your coffee with cream or
without?
Ruffa Mae: With out? sounds new to me. Sige, try ko,
please place konting out in my coffee!

STUPID SEXY STAR JOKES - Part I

Joyce Jimenez goes to Greenhills to buy a cellphone...
Joyce: Miss, eto bayad.
Salesgirl (irritated): Ano ito, Miss? Niloloko mo ba ako?!
Joyce (also irritated): Hoy, buti nga exact ang bayad ko?! Diba
nakalagay P33.10 lang?!

Erap Joke Page I

Hinamon ni Erap si President Gloria sa live TV debate..

Erap: Pag meron ako tanong sa ito na dindi mo masagot,
kailangan bayaran mo ako ng P10! Pero kung meron ka tanong na
hindi ko masagot, babayaran kita ng P10,000!

Gloria: Game ako!
At nagsimula ang mga tanong...

Erap: Ano ang distansiya ng araw sa daig-dig?
Hindi maka sagot si Gloria at naglabas ng P10. Pagkatapos, si
Gloria naman ang magtatanong...

Gloria: Ano ang lumalakad ng apat sa umaga, dalawa sa tanghali, at
tatlo sa hapo?

Hindi maka sagot si Erap. tinawagan niya sa cellphone si Ernie
Baron pero walang masagot si Ka Ernie. Nag-text siya kay Loi pero
wala rin masagot ang Senadora. Nilabas niya ang kanyang laptop
para mag-surf sa Internet pero wala parin. Pagkatapos ng isang
oras, sumuko si Erap at naglabas ng P10,000. Nung pauwi na siya
lumapit siya kay Gloria..

Erap: Mareng Gloria, ano ba talaga sagot diyan?

Hindi sumagot si Gloria. Naglabas lang siya ng P10 at binigay kay
Erap...